Tuesday, November 29, 2005

Jelly Beans

In honor of the new Harry Potter movie that came out last week, I will dedicate this post to something Harry Potter related. A few weeks ago I was at the Border's store purchasing some of their coffee. I look over to see what sort of counter items they are selling and what do I spy with my little eye? Boxes of 'Bertie Bott's Every Flavor Beans'. Now for those of you who are not familiar with this product let me explain. In the Harry Potter world, this is a very popular candy with the wizard children. Just as the title of the candy suggests, they are jelly beans that have every type of flavor. Not just candy flavors (i.e. cherry, grape, orange, etc.) but also other yummy things (i.e. steak, ice cream, popcorn, etc.). Sounds great, but one also runs the risk of other not so tasty jellies (i.e. toejam, vomit, old milk, etc.). So these jelly beans stay true to their name every flavor!

Now when I saw that these were being sold, I just had to buy a box of them and try them for myself. The only downside I had was that on the box was shown what sort of jelly beans flavors they had and what they looked like. But I decided to eat the jelly beans without looking at which flavors I was trying, just like they do in the books. I sat at one side of the table with the front of the box facing me while two of my friends sat at the other side looking at which flavors I was about to try.

The tasting started out just fine, with me eating a cherry flavored one and some sort of lemony one. I then had the third one, which flavor I could not sense at first but tasted good. A few seconds later I figured out what I was eating was bacon flavored. This experience was going great.

The next one I had not so much; I had just put in my mouth a clump of dirt. The flavor was all in my mouth the second I bit into it. It wasn't too bad; it reminded me when I was just a wee lad and had decided to eat some dirt. Yes I know, I was a stupid kid but in my defense, all kids that age are not too bright. When my friends asked me why I had eaten dirt as a kid, I tried to explain to them its what kids do. Kids use their 5 senses to try to understand what a thing is.... I (1) saw the dirt, (2) picked it up to touch it, (3) listened to see if it made noise (it did not), (4)smelt it, and then (5) ate it. This method of thinking also explains why little boys get sent to the emergency room for swallowing little cars, and for having them shoved up their noses, they just wanted a better smell of it so they pushed it up there a little more. Not the smartest thing to do but it makes sense to those little ones (and I never had any car related injuries, so I am not the dumbest of the bunch). But I digress, now back to jelly beans.

After that it was a mix of yummy ones (popcorn, cotton candy, grape, marshmallow) and not so tasty (soap, sardine, earthworm, booger). I was feeling confident in myself that I could get through so many without being too grossed out. That quickly changed with the next flavor. I chewed it, was completely overwhelmed by the taste, was able to get half of it down, tried swallowing the other half, failed, and had to spit it out. After composing myself I asked my two friends what I had eaten. After they stopped laughing at me, they told me I had eaten earwax. I truly realized how Dumbledore felt after eating an earwax flavor one at the end of "Sorcerer's Stone" (if you do not know what I am talking about, you should read the books).

After that bean, I was a little more cautious in eating the jelly beans, only biting off half. I had some more good ones and two more bad ones, rotten egg (strong sulfer taste, don't recommend eating) and vomit (not as bad as it sounds; its just a mixture of all the flavors, but still not yummy at all). It was a memorable experience for me and something I recommend doing once in your life, especially with friends around you so they can laugh at your idiocy.